Lydia and her birth day

So, now that Lydia is 4 months old today, I guess it's about time to write about her birth day.

Having had a c-section with Amelia because she was breech, I knew it was almost certain that I would have another c-section with this one. Well, Lydia was breech as well, so I knew that I would be facing another surgery.

While my c-section with Amelia went well, it was still a little traumatic. I had pre-eclampsia and was at work when my blood pressure spiked, so her delivery was last minute and unexpected. I was on Mag Sulfate (ie feel like your are totally drunk) and already felt woozy and lightheaded when they wheeled me into surgery. Although the c-section was without complications, I struggled with dizziness, nausea, and lots and lots of anxiety throughout the entire thing. To the point where, when Amelia was born, I wasn't even able to look at her because I was so panicked. So, knowing that, once again, I would be awake during a major abdominal surgery, had me very worried.

Early on Jason and I talked about my fears and what we wanted for this delivery. Peace and Joy. I wanted to be able to be present in the moment and enjoy meeting my daughter versus being wracked with anxiety and fear. And you know what? That's what God wanted for me too. So, for months, that was our prayer, and the prayer that we asked literally everyone we knew to pray... that her delivery would be one of peace and joy. That the right hospital staff would be in the right place at the right time. And, of course, for health and safety for both mom and baby.

When we got to the hospital at 4am and got to my room for my pre-op prep Jason put worship music on in the background. Then he began reading to me from scriptures that he had chosen just for this occasion. They were verses that spoke of peace and joy and faith and the absence of fear. These scriptures went into the pocket of his scrubs and accompanied us into the operating room. We had some alone time before they wheeled me into surgery and we were able to pray together for myself, the baby, and the staff that would be attending us. Then, as soon as we entered the operating room Jason began reading the verses to me and didn't stop until our baby was born. It was amazing to feel my fear slip away and be replaced with the Lord's strength. And, at the same time, our faith was witnessed by the operating room staff. It was a special moment when the anesthesia assistant leaned over and asked, "Are you reading scripture? Are you born again Christians? I am too!"

I can tell you that I have never experienced peace like the peace I had that day. Truly the peace that passes all understanding. God's presence was felt in that operating room. The Lord took away my fear and anxiety and replaced them with a joy that I have never felt before. Afterwards I actually said, "Wow, that was relaxing." Even the anesthesiologist remarked that I had no anxiety.

And then we got to meet our perfect black haired beauty. I was able to enjoy her first moments and her precious newness. Then (unlike Amelia who was in the Level 2 nursery for 4 days) as soon as I got back to my room to recover they put her on my chest and we were able to get to know each other.





Lydia Elaine Gebbink 9.9.11 8:10am 7lb 9oz

To God be the glory for Lydia's precious birth day. A day that changed our lives in more ways that just her birth. A day that our faith was strengthened and we tangibly felt the Lord answer our prayers.

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (NLT)

2 Cor. 12:9 - “My grace is enough; it is all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become!” (NLT)

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Josh. 1:9

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Ps. 34.4

Becoming a family of 4

I can hardly believe that 9 months have passed and here we are, a family of 4! I was a little slow at blogging this summer, so I'll do a little recapping.

We had a wonderful summer with trips to Colorado and Door County. Jason and I really tried to focus on savoring our time together with Amelia and enjoying our last times as a family of 3. We knew that lots of fun and blessings were in our future, but also that things would never be the same and that Amelia wouldn't have our undivided attention again. At the beginning of the summer we set 4 goals for her to be able to accomplish and I'm happy to say that she (mostly) can do them all!
-Got rid of the pacifier at night
-Potty Trained
-Can dress herself
-Can get into the car and buckle herself into her seatbelt

Those 4 things make life a lot easier!

In the meantime, I was really wrestling with feelings of guilt in regards to our new addition. When I was pregnant with Amelia, so much of my time and energy was focused on preparing for her: reading every pregnancy book under the sun, spending hours planning her nursery, hanging her clothes on coordinating hangers, talking to my tummy, writing in her journal, doing prenatal yoga, etc etc etc. This new baby girl wasn't even born yet, and already I felt like she was getting shafted. Not only did I not have time to re-read books, make it to the yoga class that I had to drop out of, and even find coordinating hangers, I couldn't plan her nursery because this kid was going to sleep in a pack n play in our room for awhile. I know these all sound like trivial things, but to me it was about being able to be emotionally prepared and ready to welcome this child.

So, one day in late July, Jason took Amelia home to visit family. It was too late in my pregnancy for me to travel, so I had a 'baby retreat'. With the house all to myself I washed baby clothes, organized drawers, wrote in her journal, and laid in the pool reading my favorite baby book "Birthed in Prayer". The author reminded me that with the second child, we have the blessing of sharing the planning and preparations with our older child. It has been amazing to see the delight on Amelia's face when the baby kicked her and to watch her hug my belly and whisper "I love you baby sister". I was able to experience the wonder and the miracle of growing another child through her eyes. I was also reminded that God is the ultimate planner and preparer and by trying to take this role on by myself, I am not trusting Him. And, after receiving advice from some wonderful friends I also realized that I didn't need to prepare as much for this baby. I had almost all of the "things" that I needed. I had also been through this life transition once before and I was already emotionally prepared. Prepared to be selfless, to allow another's needs to conduct my schedule, and to expand the fabric of our family to hold another. I was more relaxed, experienced, seasoned, and also could anticipate the needs and fears of the weeks and months to come. More than anything, I was able to realize that God is bigger than all of this and will give me exactly what I need.

I love mornings!

NOT! If you know me very well at all, you know that I'm not a morning person. Pre-children Jason and I used to sleep in as late as possible on Saturday mornings... often missing the farmers market (which ended at 11a!) We still can't believe how much we loved our sleep. I honestly have no idea how I got up at 5am and drove to Peoria everyday when I was working.
In this stage of life it's been really tempting to 'sleep in' as much as possible. Many mornings found me dragged out of bed by my toddler, only because she was in the kitchen "making breakfast". Did this include a) eating cold cocktail wienies on her bedroom floor b) eating cottage cheese out of the container with her hands c) trying to peel raw eggs which she thought were hard boiled or d) all of the above? Yes the answer is D. Stellar parenting... (For the record, I was actually awake during all of these incidences, just not necessarily downstairs quite yet :-) So, our mornings were starting off stressed and rocky and I felt behind before my feet hit the floor.

This spring this sleep-lovin mama started to be really convicted about my morning routine. Through a challenge from an excellent speaker (thanks LB), and numerous articles and websites that happened to cross my path, I knew that God was calling me to get up earlier, sacrifice my precious sleep, and start my day the right way. A quote that really spoke to me was "get up FOR your kids, not TO your kids".
Since I have the will power of a gnat I knew I needed some accountability. I joined Maximize Your Mornings where 800 other mommas were struggling to get out of bed together. We are placed into small online accountability groups where we check in each day and share successes and struggles. Our goal is to get up earlier than our kids and spend quiet time with the Lord, then exercise and plan our day before our day actually begins.

Now, I can't say that I have been successful on all fronts, but it has really changed my routine this summer. For quite a few weeks there I was successfully rising early after Jason left for work and having great quiet time and planning and preparing for my day. It felt so good to have even those extra minutes to have a focused start to my day. It was amazing how much I was able to get done when the house was peaceful and quiet. THEN the third trimester hit and my body said, "I NEED SLEEP". I decided to give up on getting up early, but am still starting my day with devotions and prayer. (Amelia also has to stay in bed reading during this time to avoid any morning culinary disasters). As I think I've said in the past, I've always struggled with having a consistent God time. Now that it's become a routine, I can totally see changes in my life. The days that I have quality quiet time I have more patience and resilience for the things that come my way. I feel balanced. I feel capable. And the words that the Lord lays on my heart in the morning really to speak to me throughout the rest of the day. I'm thankful that I was able to develop this routine of quiet time before the baby comes and life really gets chaotic! Here's to many many more early mornings!

My Summertime Prayer

Lord, help me to savor every moment,
Help me to soak up every ray of sunshine and Popsicle kiss,
Help me to put away my "need to's and have to's" in favor of "want to's and wish to's",
Challenge me to get out of the kitchen and down onto the floor.
Help me to say more "Yes's" and less "No's",
Give me the creativity to think outside my routine and encourage inspiration,
Allow me to find joy in the mess and the chaos- for these things usually bring true delight,
Remind me to sacrifice my own peace and relaxation in favor of the hard work of play,
Give me a servant's heart, yet remove my guilt for the times that I need to focus on myself.
Help me to turn away from the things that absorb my mind and attention,
Instead, I want to be fully present.
I don't want to take one minute for granted.
Let the days drag on unending until we drop with exhaustion from a satisfied, saturated day.
I want to bottle up every memory, every giggle, each smooch, every breath,
And cherish every one.
Amen.

Boy or Girl???

The Gebbinks are excited to announce...

It's...

a...

GIRL!

Coming September 9, 2011

Babymoon (my new favorite word!)

Lunch at George's on the Cove

Bump at 15 weeks


On our brunch cruise



As soon as we found out we were pregnant with #2, we started dreaming about the possibility of a “babymoon”. Dreaming… Amazingly, the very next day Jason’s coworker told him she was unable to use her timeshare this summer and would we like to use it… for free? So we found cheap tickets and signed ourselves up for 6 days in San Diego child-free! While we were so very excited, we had no idea what a blessing this trip would be to us and our marriage.

When we first arrived it was hard to avoid scheduling things around our ‘normal life’. Dinner at 7:30pm? But, that’s bedtime! Massages at 2pm? That’s right in the middle of naptime! It’s funny how you get stuck in routines. Anyway, it didn’t take long to break out of that mindset and just enjoy the freedom of flexibility. We took a brunch boat cruise, did a historic home tour (one of our favorite hobbies), picnicked on the beach, spent an afternoon at the spa, laid by the pool, spent hours driving up and down the 101, and ATE A LOT.

More than anything we reveled in our one-on-one time. We have been saying that this trip was better than our honeymoon- mostly because we now know the value of uninterrupted quality time. A complete conversation is now precious, where before it was common. Having the freedom to go where we wanted at whatever time we wanted without an arsenal of diapers, snacks, and toys was so novel it was thrilling! It was wonderful to have each other ‘all to ourselves’! Also, we know each other so much better now after almost 9 years of marriage. On our honeymoon we were newlyweds giddy in love. Now we are a little ‘seasoned’, having been through trials and struggles, and having come out stronger and more in love because of them. We have changed and grown as a couple. Truly we spent the week hanging out with our best friend. Most importantly, I think that we both relished feeling the ‘spark’ again. That feeling of oneness and complete compatibility that can get lost in the day to day. The little thrill of electricity that you forget exists when romance becomes more of a partnership. It was refreshing to discover that it was still there and we are still as madly in love (if not more!) than the day we got married. It was essential to our marriage that we took the time to reconnect to who we truly ARE. Not just mommy and daddy, but remembering the things that we love about each other outside of our parenting role.

Mostly, we were reminded of how vital to our marriage these private times are. God calls us to put our marriage first for the health of our family. While we know that a childless vacation will be few and far between, we have goals of spending more quality time together. We have started “No TV Tuesday” where we don’t watch any television, but play games, read, and eat ice cream together. Another goal has been trying to go to bed early, capturing those quiet hours before sleep to spend together. We also have plans to do evening date swaps with another couple where, after all the kids are in bed, one couple will get to go out for an evening date while part of the other couple hangs out at their house, and then swap on another night. Also, on occasion, we feed Amelia dinner early and put her to bed early, and have a quiet, hot dinner all to ourselves.

While we loved our time away, we were excited to get back and start on this new chapter of our lives (and,yes, we did miss Amelia :-). I’m so thankful for the blessings of this trip and how much it rejuvenated us. I think it helped us both to see how child-free quality time is as essential to marriage as water to a plant- it’s what helps it grow.

Lent

I once heard about a gardener who spent the season of Lent in the garden. From the beginning of March he spent hours on his knees in the cold, wet mud clearing out weeds and brambles from his precious beds. As he toiled he focused on the barren, cold, weedy areas of his life as well. As the weather warmed he was able to see new life breaking through the barren ground, and daily he was experiencing new life in Christ as he allowed the Lord to clear away the sin in his life. By the time Easter arrived his soul was renewed and given new life, just as his flower beds were.
Although I am not a die-hard gardener, our family did spend a day this weekend clearing away the brush and bramble from our extensive flower beds. It took a lot of time on our knees and breaking our backs to clear away the rubbish that we had neglected to pick up in the fall. What was amazing to me was that, even with many inches of dead leaves and branches covering the dirt, there was still new life struggling to poke through underneath. Today when I checked on the beds 2 days later, I was astounded to see that, what had been tiny shoots of plants before, were now 4 inches of healthy green leaves. And then I reflected on my life… When I allow the Lord to clear away my sinfulness- my thorny, dead parts (which often is a result of brokenness), I am able to bloom and flourish. Most importantly, when I die to myself (meaning giving up a lot of my sins and weakness including selfishness, time wasting, jealousy, pride, etc) then His gifts are allowed to grow. This means I notice that I have more patience, more compassion, less anger, and less bitterness.

Now while I haven’t spent the season of Lent in the garden, I did give up Facebook for these 40 days. I had started to feel like I was in bondage to Facebook. I know that sounds silly, but I felt like every spare moment I had, I needed to see what everyone else was up to. When, in fact, I was missing out on what was going on in my own life. During this season, anytime I would have normally been checking on status updates, I have been spending it in prayer. I can tell you that my days have been filled with a lot more peace and strength than I have had in a long time.
So, whether you are in your garden or on your computer, spend a few precious minutes several times today to ask the Lord which weeds he needs to clear out of your garden. Happy Lent to you!