Babymoon (my new favorite word!)

Lunch at George's on the Cove

Bump at 15 weeks


On our brunch cruise



As soon as we found out we were pregnant with #2, we started dreaming about the possibility of a “babymoon”. Dreaming… Amazingly, the very next day Jason’s coworker told him she was unable to use her timeshare this summer and would we like to use it… for free? So we found cheap tickets and signed ourselves up for 6 days in San Diego child-free! While we were so very excited, we had no idea what a blessing this trip would be to us and our marriage.

When we first arrived it was hard to avoid scheduling things around our ‘normal life’. Dinner at 7:30pm? But, that’s bedtime! Massages at 2pm? That’s right in the middle of naptime! It’s funny how you get stuck in routines. Anyway, it didn’t take long to break out of that mindset and just enjoy the freedom of flexibility. We took a brunch boat cruise, did a historic home tour (one of our favorite hobbies), picnicked on the beach, spent an afternoon at the spa, laid by the pool, spent hours driving up and down the 101, and ATE A LOT.

More than anything we reveled in our one-on-one time. We have been saying that this trip was better than our honeymoon- mostly because we now know the value of uninterrupted quality time. A complete conversation is now precious, where before it was common. Having the freedom to go where we wanted at whatever time we wanted without an arsenal of diapers, snacks, and toys was so novel it was thrilling! It was wonderful to have each other ‘all to ourselves’! Also, we know each other so much better now after almost 9 years of marriage. On our honeymoon we were newlyweds giddy in love. Now we are a little ‘seasoned’, having been through trials and struggles, and having come out stronger and more in love because of them. We have changed and grown as a couple. Truly we spent the week hanging out with our best friend. Most importantly, I think that we both relished feeling the ‘spark’ again. That feeling of oneness and complete compatibility that can get lost in the day to day. The little thrill of electricity that you forget exists when romance becomes more of a partnership. It was refreshing to discover that it was still there and we are still as madly in love (if not more!) than the day we got married. It was essential to our marriage that we took the time to reconnect to who we truly ARE. Not just mommy and daddy, but remembering the things that we love about each other outside of our parenting role.

Mostly, we were reminded of how vital to our marriage these private times are. God calls us to put our marriage first for the health of our family. While we know that a childless vacation will be few and far between, we have goals of spending more quality time together. We have started “No TV Tuesday” where we don’t watch any television, but play games, read, and eat ice cream together. Another goal has been trying to go to bed early, capturing those quiet hours before sleep to spend together. We also have plans to do evening date swaps with another couple where, after all the kids are in bed, one couple will get to go out for an evening date while part of the other couple hangs out at their house, and then swap on another night. Also, on occasion, we feed Amelia dinner early and put her to bed early, and have a quiet, hot dinner all to ourselves.

While we loved our time away, we were excited to get back and start on this new chapter of our lives (and,yes, we did miss Amelia :-). I’m so thankful for the blessings of this trip and how much it rejuvenated us. I think it helped us both to see how child-free quality time is as essential to marriage as water to a plant- it’s what helps it grow.

Lent

I once heard about a gardener who spent the season of Lent in the garden. From the beginning of March he spent hours on his knees in the cold, wet mud clearing out weeds and brambles from his precious beds. As he toiled he focused on the barren, cold, weedy areas of his life as well. As the weather warmed he was able to see new life breaking through the barren ground, and daily he was experiencing new life in Christ as he allowed the Lord to clear away the sin in his life. By the time Easter arrived his soul was renewed and given new life, just as his flower beds were.
Although I am not a die-hard gardener, our family did spend a day this weekend clearing away the brush and bramble from our extensive flower beds. It took a lot of time on our knees and breaking our backs to clear away the rubbish that we had neglected to pick up in the fall. What was amazing to me was that, even with many inches of dead leaves and branches covering the dirt, there was still new life struggling to poke through underneath. Today when I checked on the beds 2 days later, I was astounded to see that, what had been tiny shoots of plants before, were now 4 inches of healthy green leaves. And then I reflected on my life… When I allow the Lord to clear away my sinfulness- my thorny, dead parts (which often is a result of brokenness), I am able to bloom and flourish. Most importantly, when I die to myself (meaning giving up a lot of my sins and weakness including selfishness, time wasting, jealousy, pride, etc) then His gifts are allowed to grow. This means I notice that I have more patience, more compassion, less anger, and less bitterness.

Now while I haven’t spent the season of Lent in the garden, I did give up Facebook for these 40 days. I had started to feel like I was in bondage to Facebook. I know that sounds silly, but I felt like every spare moment I had, I needed to see what everyone else was up to. When, in fact, I was missing out on what was going on in my own life. During this season, anytime I would have normally been checking on status updates, I have been spending it in prayer. I can tell you that my days have been filled with a lot more peace and strength than I have had in a long time.
So, whether you are in your garden or on your computer, spend a few precious minutes several times today to ask the Lord which weeds he needs to clear out of your garden. Happy Lent to you!

Well, hello there...

My blog has been a little dry lately. Well, a lot dry. We’ve had a lot going on in the Gebbink House. Primarily we’re excited to share that we will be adding another Gebbink baby to our home in September. This means that mommy has spent much of the last 2 months lying on the couch waiting for “all day” sickness to pass. During this time I’ve also been riding the “Potty Training Rollercoaster”. Pee in the potty, pee on the floor, pee in the potty, pee on the floor. Diapers. Pull ups. Dora Panties. Screw it. (Today we are back on the train… again). Those things and planning my mom’s big bday bash at home, and gathering a group of ladies to attend the Hearts at Home conference the same weekend. There has been A LOT going on!

Truly, I only write when God has really placed something on my heart to share. I once heard in a sermon that everyone should have an altar in their lives- a place where they share or demonstrate the great things that God has done. Well, I guess that my blog is my altar then. My prayer has always been that I hope others can learn through the lessons God is teaching me.

Lately, in addition to the aforementioned activities, we have been finding our way through the “Terrific Two’s”. Amelia truly is a wonderful little girl, but, just like any two year old, some days are better than others. Through a series of books, speakers, and friends, I have come to a really important conclusion. My job is not just to raise her, but to TRAIN her. I am challenged with, not only disciplining her, but making her a disciple of the Lord. Once upon a time I thought that my job as a stay at home mom was to cook, clean, and do laundry. Suddenly I’m realizing that Jason and I are responsible for developing Amelia’s character. For giving her a heart for God and other people. To make her into a decent human being! Wow. This is so much bigger than timeouts vs. spankings. This is, like, teaching her about integrity and compassion. I didn’t know this started at age 2! And, since these are things that I struggle with somedays, how on earth am I supposed to teach it to her? So, I’m praying for a lot of wisdom, and I’m studying. If you were trying to learn a language, an art or how to change the oil on your car, you would find some resources and study. So, I’m learning. I’m reading some great books right now including “5 Love Languages of Children”, “Preschool Wisdom: what your preschooler desperately wants you to know”, “Love and Logic for Early Childhood”, and “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”.

All this to say that I’m also very grateful and honored that God gave me this job. While I loved my time in the working world, I never realized how satisfying it would be to mold and influence another person’s life. It is such a huge responsibility, but I’m totally up for the challenge. I’m sure there will be much more on this to come, but if you wonder where I am, I’m either reading parenting books, or wiping up pee off the floor.

WONDER

As I took down our Christmas decorations today (yes, I know it’s mid-January, but really, what’s the rush) I took a little time to reflect on our holiday. For me it was definitely one of my favorite Christmases so far and I can sum it up in one word of “WONDER”. I don’t think I really knew the meaning of the word wonder until I had a toddler. Every aspect of the Christmas season was reflected on Amelia’s face with a rapt look of WONDER. From the Christmas lights on the neighbors houses, to the stockings on the fireplace, to our Christmas tree in our window, to her first time hearing the story of Jesus’ birth, she had the most precious look of awe and WONDER on her face. (Granted she loved to talk about how the sheep poo-pooed in the manger and has been calling every infant she knows “Baby Jesus”, she was wonder-struck all the same!) Most importantly it reminded me that Christmas truly is a season of wonder… that a virgin was given a child who would save the entire earth. That we have the opportunity for a relationship with this child. That He is longing for us… now that’s WONDERful! I’m praying that this spirit of wonder will linger the whole year for our family… maybe I should just keep the decorations up?

Friends

I know that there are a gajillion cheesy phrases about friends out there… “Friends are friends forever” “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget”, “If friends were flowers, I'd pick you”. But truly, I believe that friendships are like water and air. It is so vital and important to have those people to trust in and lean on, confide in and be REAL with. And, let me tell ya, it’s hard work! I’ve never been in a situation before where I’ve had to WORK to find and make friends. There has always been a dorm full of girls, or co-workers, or Sunday school and church friends. Suddenly I’m starting out cold. And I’m learning that it takes guts (and a little bit of faith) to find new friends ‘cause I’m sure not gonna make ‘em sitting in my house . And like many things, relationships need intentional care -like a garden that will wither if it’s not given attention.

So, here I am in the land of horses and rolling meadows (although only 1 hour and 10 min. from downtown… pretty cool), how do I find friends? I will admit that I have done a little “grocery store stalking” (Oh Hi, what a cute little girl. Do you live around here? Do you want a new friend?.... ok, maybe not quite like that) without much success. I have joined an online mom’s group (Meetup.com) through which I joined a Bible Study and a playgroup. I have joined a MOPS group a few towns away, through which I have made some wonderful friends. And Amelia and I have also joined a group called Mothers for Others which is moms who volunteer with their kiddos in the community, and we’ve met some other mamas through there. The Lord has been so very faithful and answering our prayers- we have been blessed with some wonderful friends up here!

And like seedlings in a garden, I’m learning that these friendships need to be grown and cultivated. Time, attention, and care are needed to flourish a friendship based on mutual trust; a friendship that can be real, open, and honest. And there is always an element of faith that exists as well. For me, there is always the Jr. High fear of “does she like me? Are we still friends?” And that, I believe, is the devil trying to undermine the blessings that the Lord has given to me.

So, thank-you Father for providing for my needs, for answering our prayers, and for the wonderful people that you’ve brought into our lives. May we be a blessing to theirs as well!

BLESSED

Amelia, every so often (at least once a day), I take a step back and give a small gasp and am amazed at how BLESSED I am to be your mommy. I still can hardly believe or comprehend that you were formed in my womb and were created for your daddy and I. It is unbelievable to me how fast you learn and how easily you pick up new things. It is touching to me how sensitive you are; how you get so concerned when you see someone else hurt or sad. It is remarkable how, already, you have an incredible servant's heart and love to be 'helping mommy'. I see so much of your great-grandma Amelia in you... your love of music and dancing, your friendliness to everyone around you (she never knew a stranger), and your constant enthusiasm for life. Already you have taught me so much about the world around me and about myself. You have helped me to learn the true meaning of patience, of perserverance, of compassion, mercy, and unconditional love. You have helped to reveal areas in my life where I need to be stronger, and some areas where I don't need to be as strong. But more importantly, you have helped me to see Jesus through your eyes. As we teach you that God loves you and made all of his creation for you, it is once again wonderous to me as well. I am blessed to be able to be home with you each day. To be the one who teaches you, disciplines you, and gets to experience your world with you. I know that these days are precious, and I love spending this fleeting season of my life with you. Thank you for bringing immeasurable joy to my life and your daddy's. Thank you for your cheesey smiles, your big 'cheek' kisses, your nuzzles, and your belly laughs. Most of all, thank you for making me a better person, Christian and mommy. I love you!

PS I am posting this so that when you put your shoes in the toilet, smear waterproof mascara on your face, and have a potty training accident in my kitchen cabinet, I'll remember why I love you so much!

Learning how to do this job...

I’m still trying to figure it out… this job I’ve been blessed with that came without a job description, orientation, or manual. I’m so concerned with how to do it “right”. How to accomplish all I need and want to. How to feel successful without a way to measure that success. I realized that I am not looking at my new occupation as a ‘job’. Yes it has definite perks ( no dress code, my own schedule, etc.) but it is still a job, and I’m not necessarily preparing myself like I should be. When I was a project manager, I would never come to work without having my presentation prepared or my handouts printed. Likewise, I shouldn’t be starting my day at this job without preparation. For me that means getting up early to do my devotions, pack the diaper bag, start the laundry, etc to prepare for my day with my daughter. Now, if you know me, you know that I am NOT a morning person. When I was working full time it was only by the grace of God and the fear of losing my job that I was able to get up every day at 5a and be out the door by 6a (or earlier). I am in AWE at those of you who are outside running at 5am. OMG. But I really have been feeling like this is something that God is calling me to do. The times that I have gotten up early in recent weeks have been a complete blessing to my day. I have had time to make Jason breakfast and spend a few quiet minutes with him, have some 'me time' and feel more prepared for my day. Those days I have more patience and feel more sucessful and accomplished (and who can't use 2 more hours in the day). But, alas, every morning there is still the 'bed battle'- somedays I win, somedays I lose.

I have been reading a blog called Inspired to Action that has been the "Mom-manual" I have been looking for. http://inspiredtoaction.com/ By signing up for her blog I received her free ebook called "Maximize Your Mornings". It was just what I needed and came with worksheets and checklists. I HIGHLY recommend it for anyone else trying to figure this job out! So, I just keep remembering that everyday is a new day and persistence, self discipline, and prayer will win out eventually…. Right?