Babymoon (my new favorite word!)

Lunch at George's on the Cove

Bump at 15 weeks


On our brunch cruise



As soon as we found out we were pregnant with #2, we started dreaming about the possibility of a “babymoon”. Dreaming… Amazingly, the very next day Jason’s coworker told him she was unable to use her timeshare this summer and would we like to use it… for free? So we found cheap tickets and signed ourselves up for 6 days in San Diego child-free! While we were so very excited, we had no idea what a blessing this trip would be to us and our marriage.

When we first arrived it was hard to avoid scheduling things around our ‘normal life’. Dinner at 7:30pm? But, that’s bedtime! Massages at 2pm? That’s right in the middle of naptime! It’s funny how you get stuck in routines. Anyway, it didn’t take long to break out of that mindset and just enjoy the freedom of flexibility. We took a brunch boat cruise, did a historic home tour (one of our favorite hobbies), picnicked on the beach, spent an afternoon at the spa, laid by the pool, spent hours driving up and down the 101, and ATE A LOT.

More than anything we reveled in our one-on-one time. We have been saying that this trip was better than our honeymoon- mostly because we now know the value of uninterrupted quality time. A complete conversation is now precious, where before it was common. Having the freedom to go where we wanted at whatever time we wanted without an arsenal of diapers, snacks, and toys was so novel it was thrilling! It was wonderful to have each other ‘all to ourselves’! Also, we know each other so much better now after almost 9 years of marriage. On our honeymoon we were newlyweds giddy in love. Now we are a little ‘seasoned’, having been through trials and struggles, and having come out stronger and more in love because of them. We have changed and grown as a couple. Truly we spent the week hanging out with our best friend. Most importantly, I think that we both relished feeling the ‘spark’ again. That feeling of oneness and complete compatibility that can get lost in the day to day. The little thrill of electricity that you forget exists when romance becomes more of a partnership. It was refreshing to discover that it was still there and we are still as madly in love (if not more!) than the day we got married. It was essential to our marriage that we took the time to reconnect to who we truly ARE. Not just mommy and daddy, but remembering the things that we love about each other outside of our parenting role.

Mostly, we were reminded of how vital to our marriage these private times are. God calls us to put our marriage first for the health of our family. While we know that a childless vacation will be few and far between, we have goals of spending more quality time together. We have started “No TV Tuesday” where we don’t watch any television, but play games, read, and eat ice cream together. Another goal has been trying to go to bed early, capturing those quiet hours before sleep to spend together. We also have plans to do evening date swaps with another couple where, after all the kids are in bed, one couple will get to go out for an evening date while part of the other couple hangs out at their house, and then swap on another night. Also, on occasion, we feed Amelia dinner early and put her to bed early, and have a quiet, hot dinner all to ourselves.

While we loved our time away, we were excited to get back and start on this new chapter of our lives (and,yes, we did miss Amelia :-). I’m so thankful for the blessings of this trip and how much it rejuvenated us. I think it helped us both to see how child-free quality time is as essential to marriage as water to a plant- it’s what helps it grow.

Lent

I once heard about a gardener who spent the season of Lent in the garden. From the beginning of March he spent hours on his knees in the cold, wet mud clearing out weeds and brambles from his precious beds. As he toiled he focused on the barren, cold, weedy areas of his life as well. As the weather warmed he was able to see new life breaking through the barren ground, and daily he was experiencing new life in Christ as he allowed the Lord to clear away the sin in his life. By the time Easter arrived his soul was renewed and given new life, just as his flower beds were.
Although I am not a die-hard gardener, our family did spend a day this weekend clearing away the brush and bramble from our extensive flower beds. It took a lot of time on our knees and breaking our backs to clear away the rubbish that we had neglected to pick up in the fall. What was amazing to me was that, even with many inches of dead leaves and branches covering the dirt, there was still new life struggling to poke through underneath. Today when I checked on the beds 2 days later, I was astounded to see that, what had been tiny shoots of plants before, were now 4 inches of healthy green leaves. And then I reflected on my life… When I allow the Lord to clear away my sinfulness- my thorny, dead parts (which often is a result of brokenness), I am able to bloom and flourish. Most importantly, when I die to myself (meaning giving up a lot of my sins and weakness including selfishness, time wasting, jealousy, pride, etc) then His gifts are allowed to grow. This means I notice that I have more patience, more compassion, less anger, and less bitterness.

Now while I haven’t spent the season of Lent in the garden, I did give up Facebook for these 40 days. I had started to feel like I was in bondage to Facebook. I know that sounds silly, but I felt like every spare moment I had, I needed to see what everyone else was up to. When, in fact, I was missing out on what was going on in my own life. During this season, anytime I would have normally been checking on status updates, I have been spending it in prayer. I can tell you that my days have been filled with a lot more peace and strength than I have had in a long time.
So, whether you are in your garden or on your computer, spend a few precious minutes several times today to ask the Lord which weeds he needs to clear out of your garden. Happy Lent to you!