Well, hello there...

My blog has been a little dry lately. Well, a lot dry. We’ve had a lot going on in the Gebbink House. Primarily we’re excited to share that we will be adding another Gebbink baby to our home in September. This means that mommy has spent much of the last 2 months lying on the couch waiting for “all day” sickness to pass. During this time I’ve also been riding the “Potty Training Rollercoaster”. Pee in the potty, pee on the floor, pee in the potty, pee on the floor. Diapers. Pull ups. Dora Panties. Screw it. (Today we are back on the train… again). Those things and planning my mom’s big bday bash at home, and gathering a group of ladies to attend the Hearts at Home conference the same weekend. There has been A LOT going on!

Truly, I only write when God has really placed something on my heart to share. I once heard in a sermon that everyone should have an altar in their lives- a place where they share or demonstrate the great things that God has done. Well, I guess that my blog is my altar then. My prayer has always been that I hope others can learn through the lessons God is teaching me.

Lately, in addition to the aforementioned activities, we have been finding our way through the “Terrific Two’s”. Amelia truly is a wonderful little girl, but, just like any two year old, some days are better than others. Through a series of books, speakers, and friends, I have come to a really important conclusion. My job is not just to raise her, but to TRAIN her. I am challenged with, not only disciplining her, but making her a disciple of the Lord. Once upon a time I thought that my job as a stay at home mom was to cook, clean, and do laundry. Suddenly I’m realizing that Jason and I are responsible for developing Amelia’s character. For giving her a heart for God and other people. To make her into a decent human being! Wow. This is so much bigger than timeouts vs. spankings. This is, like, teaching her about integrity and compassion. I didn’t know this started at age 2! And, since these are things that I struggle with somedays, how on earth am I supposed to teach it to her? So, I’m praying for a lot of wisdom, and I’m studying. If you were trying to learn a language, an art or how to change the oil on your car, you would find some resources and study. So, I’m learning. I’m reading some great books right now including “5 Love Languages of Children”, “Preschool Wisdom: what your preschooler desperately wants you to know”, “Love and Logic for Early Childhood”, and “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”.

All this to say that I’m also very grateful and honored that God gave me this job. While I loved my time in the working world, I never realized how satisfying it would be to mold and influence another person’s life. It is such a huge responsibility, but I’m totally up for the challenge. I’m sure there will be much more on this to come, but if you wonder where I am, I’m either reading parenting books, or wiping up pee off the floor.

WONDER

As I took down our Christmas decorations today (yes, I know it’s mid-January, but really, what’s the rush) I took a little time to reflect on our holiday. For me it was definitely one of my favorite Christmases so far and I can sum it up in one word of “WONDER”. I don’t think I really knew the meaning of the word wonder until I had a toddler. Every aspect of the Christmas season was reflected on Amelia’s face with a rapt look of WONDER. From the Christmas lights on the neighbors houses, to the stockings on the fireplace, to our Christmas tree in our window, to her first time hearing the story of Jesus’ birth, she had the most precious look of awe and WONDER on her face. (Granted she loved to talk about how the sheep poo-pooed in the manger and has been calling every infant she knows “Baby Jesus”, she was wonder-struck all the same!) Most importantly it reminded me that Christmas truly is a season of wonder… that a virgin was given a child who would save the entire earth. That we have the opportunity for a relationship with this child. That He is longing for us… now that’s WONDERful! I’m praying that this spirit of wonder will linger the whole year for our family… maybe I should just keep the decorations up?

Friends

I know that there are a gajillion cheesy phrases about friends out there… “Friends are friends forever” “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget”, “If friends were flowers, I'd pick you”. But truly, I believe that friendships are like water and air. It is so vital and important to have those people to trust in and lean on, confide in and be REAL with. And, let me tell ya, it’s hard work! I’ve never been in a situation before where I’ve had to WORK to find and make friends. There has always been a dorm full of girls, or co-workers, or Sunday school and church friends. Suddenly I’m starting out cold. And I’m learning that it takes guts (and a little bit of faith) to find new friends ‘cause I’m sure not gonna make ‘em sitting in my house . And like many things, relationships need intentional care -like a garden that will wither if it’s not given attention.

So, here I am in the land of horses and rolling meadows (although only 1 hour and 10 min. from downtown… pretty cool), how do I find friends? I will admit that I have done a little “grocery store stalking” (Oh Hi, what a cute little girl. Do you live around here? Do you want a new friend?.... ok, maybe not quite like that) without much success. I have joined an online mom’s group (Meetup.com) through which I joined a Bible Study and a playgroup. I have joined a MOPS group a few towns away, through which I have made some wonderful friends. And Amelia and I have also joined a group called Mothers for Others which is moms who volunteer with their kiddos in the community, and we’ve met some other mamas through there. The Lord has been so very faithful and answering our prayers- we have been blessed with some wonderful friends up here!

And like seedlings in a garden, I’m learning that these friendships need to be grown and cultivated. Time, attention, and care are needed to flourish a friendship based on mutual trust; a friendship that can be real, open, and honest. And there is always an element of faith that exists as well. For me, there is always the Jr. High fear of “does she like me? Are we still friends?” And that, I believe, is the devil trying to undermine the blessings that the Lord has given to me.

So, thank-you Father for providing for my needs, for answering our prayers, and for the wonderful people that you’ve brought into our lives. May we be a blessing to theirs as well!

BLESSED

Amelia, every so often (at least once a day), I take a step back and give a small gasp and am amazed at how BLESSED I am to be your mommy. I still can hardly believe or comprehend that you were formed in my womb and were created for your daddy and I. It is unbelievable to me how fast you learn and how easily you pick up new things. It is touching to me how sensitive you are; how you get so concerned when you see someone else hurt or sad. It is remarkable how, already, you have an incredible servant's heart and love to be 'helping mommy'. I see so much of your great-grandma Amelia in you... your love of music and dancing, your friendliness to everyone around you (she never knew a stranger), and your constant enthusiasm for life. Already you have taught me so much about the world around me and about myself. You have helped me to learn the true meaning of patience, of perserverance, of compassion, mercy, and unconditional love. You have helped to reveal areas in my life where I need to be stronger, and some areas where I don't need to be as strong. But more importantly, you have helped me to see Jesus through your eyes. As we teach you that God loves you and made all of his creation for you, it is once again wonderous to me as well. I am blessed to be able to be home with you each day. To be the one who teaches you, disciplines you, and gets to experience your world with you. I know that these days are precious, and I love spending this fleeting season of my life with you. Thank you for bringing immeasurable joy to my life and your daddy's. Thank you for your cheesey smiles, your big 'cheek' kisses, your nuzzles, and your belly laughs. Most of all, thank you for making me a better person, Christian and mommy. I love you!

PS I am posting this so that when you put your shoes in the toilet, smear waterproof mascara on your face, and have a potty training accident in my kitchen cabinet, I'll remember why I love you so much!

Learning how to do this job...

I’m still trying to figure it out… this job I’ve been blessed with that came without a job description, orientation, or manual. I’m so concerned with how to do it “right”. How to accomplish all I need and want to. How to feel successful without a way to measure that success. I realized that I am not looking at my new occupation as a ‘job’. Yes it has definite perks ( no dress code, my own schedule, etc.) but it is still a job, and I’m not necessarily preparing myself like I should be. When I was a project manager, I would never come to work without having my presentation prepared or my handouts printed. Likewise, I shouldn’t be starting my day at this job without preparation. For me that means getting up early to do my devotions, pack the diaper bag, start the laundry, etc to prepare for my day with my daughter. Now, if you know me, you know that I am NOT a morning person. When I was working full time it was only by the grace of God and the fear of losing my job that I was able to get up every day at 5a and be out the door by 6a (or earlier). I am in AWE at those of you who are outside running at 5am. OMG. But I really have been feeling like this is something that God is calling me to do. The times that I have gotten up early in recent weeks have been a complete blessing to my day. I have had time to make Jason breakfast and spend a few quiet minutes with him, have some 'me time' and feel more prepared for my day. Those days I have more patience and feel more sucessful and accomplished (and who can't use 2 more hours in the day). But, alas, every morning there is still the 'bed battle'- somedays I win, somedays I lose.

I have been reading a blog called Inspired to Action that has been the "Mom-manual" I have been looking for. http://inspiredtoaction.com/ By signing up for her blog I received her free ebook called "Maximize Your Mornings". It was just what I needed and came with worksheets and checklists. I HIGHLY recommend it for anyone else trying to figure this job out! So, I just keep remembering that everyday is a new day and persistence, self discipline, and prayer will win out eventually…. Right?

Settled.

Amelia and I in our garden


Wow, after 15 months of transitions it feels amazing (and a bit surreal) to finally say that we are settled. Our boxes are unpacked, pictures are on the wall, and our new-to-us house is starting to feel like a home. The first week felt like Christmas- opening boxes that we had packed 6 months ago and finding dishes and decorations that we forgot we owned. I have been cooking almost constantly- a hobby that I had missed dearly for the last year. And Amelia loves running around our 2 acres, swimming in the pool, and playing on the ‘bouncy bounce’ (trampoline) and slide. The area up here is beautiful with rolling hills, gobs of horses (much to Amelia’s never-ending delight!), and bountiful markets of fresh, local produce and meats (which our new eating-efforts appreciate). Between our house and the interstate there are 12 roadside stands or orchards on this road alone!!

It’s been amazing to look back at the last year and a half and see all that God has brought us through. As much as I miss ‘home’, it is clear that this is where God wants us to be. Without going through the trials and the challenges, our faith and relationship wouldn’t have been tested and refined. We have had to lean on the Lord and our faith more than ever. God has answered prayer after prayer: from providing great Christian friends, to ministry opportunities and even a Bible study and playgroup. And, repeatedly, he has confirmed that we are in the right place.

It’s incredible to look back and see that at the times where our heartache was the greatest, those were the times that our faith and relationship with Christ was the strongest. He truly does ‘give strength to the weary’. Now I need to remember to maintain that desire for Him and dependence on Him in the ‘strong times’ as well. It is so easy to slip back into “I can do it” mode, that we forget that He gives us our strength. The Lord has brought us through times of depression, bitterness, anger, and lots of questions. I would love to say that I was a trooper and took it all in stride, but many days I failed miserably. Thankfully God and Jason are forgiving, and I know that this experience has prepared me for challenges to come!

On the move once again...

We are finally ready to complete the final leg of our journey and move all of our belongings from the 'short term' rental in McHenry to our 'long term' rental in Spring Grove. While we never intended to be in this house for very long (and stayed in this house for longer than we intended :-) it was a good house to us. There are many things that I WON'T miss:

-The random wildlife in our fenced in backyard consisting of 1 groundhog, 2 cats, and 6 skunks
- The crazed ice cream truck that circles our neighborhood for hours, always around dinner time, yelling out "Hello!"
- The lack of air conditioning and very sticky nights
- Our neighbor's taste in cultural music, while enjoyable, was not so great at 1am
- Our washer and dryer, while adequate, heat the house and are so loud we have to yell to be heard
- Lack of space for, well, anything

Despite my grumblings, there certainly are things that I will miss about our pit-stop house.
-The fact that Amelia was always within my eye sight whether she was outside or across the house
- The great park and walking trail that were minutes away
- A precious friend who lives around the corner- truly a gift from God!
- The cozyness of being intimately together as a family no matter where we are in the house or what we are doing

We made some incredible memories here too...
-Amelia's first steps
-Big family dinners with the Schmidt family
-Nights spent singing and dancing to 'sons' in the family room
-Late night pizza
-Cramming as many possessions as humanly possible into our garage


More than anything, I will forever remember that this house is a symbol of God's provision. It fell into our laps at a time in our life when we didn't know where Jason was going to sleep from one night until the next. It enabled us to be together as a family, and allowed me to work from home. It became our haven in a very chaotic and turbulent time in our marriage and family. When we entered this home together, all was right with the world once again.

So, farewell Lillian Street. To the next owners... watch out for critters!

Our new house in Spring Grove, IL