Make it Mother's Day everyday!

In the past week or so Amelia has REALLY learned to be a good walker. She is standing up on her own without holding onto anything, and, as soon as she is vertical, she's off! Therefore, I have quickly become a mother of a toddler. It is incredible how this milestone has changed my view of parenting. My once content, laid back child is now quickly traveling around the house exploring. She is relishing this newfound independence and exercising her 'freedom' for all it's worth. She has opinions and desires and she enjoys expressing them- which equals spontaneous tears and tantrums several times a day. This leaves a tired, stressed out mommy in her wake. I imagine she's a little confused... for so many weeks we have been encouraging her to walk and take as many steps as she can. We try not to hold her and encourage her to walk on her own. Then, the second we get out in public, we refuse to let her down and won't let her walk on her own. I feel like I am constantly saying, "No, don't unroll the toilet paper. No, don't eat the dog food. No, don't flush the toilet. No, don't empty the pantry. No No NO!" I find myself wondering if I will ever take a peaceful shower again? I realize that I was not prepared for this new phase of life.

I am currently enjoying reading "I was a really great mom before I had kids". I will admit that, when I was childless, I was "That Person" who looked at the kid throwing the fit in the cereal aisle and said to myself, "That will never be my child." Well, tonight my child was the one who threw a fit in the line at our family member's visitation, right as we were approaching the casket. Yup, it's my turn. So, in this new season of learning and frustration, I admit that I feel like I'm struggling. And I have to wonder, how many of us mommies struggle every day? How many of us would benefit from someone saying, "Even on your most frustrating of days, you are an awesome mom and are making a difference in your little ones' lives!".

THEREFORE, my challenge to myself and all of you... once a week encourage another mom. We are the only ones who know what a tough job we have. Let's lift each other up! So, once a week send a note, email, text, whatever to another mom telling her that she is doing a great job. I promise, it will make all the difference in the world and just might be what she needs that day. Let yourself be used by the Lord to bless someone else... don't just save it for Mother's Day! Let's appreciate each other everyday!

Mary, mother of Jesus= Super mom

During this Christmas season, I have been reflecting on Mary and her vital role as Jesus's mommy. I am often awestruck and honored that I have been chosed to be Amelia's mommy. Can you imagine what Mary felt? Chosen to birth the Savior of the world? Although, I have to think that she probably wasn't initially thrilled and thankful. She probably did a lot of 'why me God' and 'it's not fair'. Can you imagine the stigma and judgement she felt, and what people thought of her? Unwed Jewish girl, randomly preggo... Yet, the Lord was blessing her. Somedays I feel like Mary. Asking 'why God' and whining 'it's not fair', when, in truth, the Lord is blessing me. It may not always be according to my plan or the way that I would have had things go, but He is blessing me all the same. And, as Christians, we will be judged and there will be a stigma, yet we are living our lives for the Lord and not the world.

I also remember back 15 months ago when I was 9 months pregnant with Amelia and felt as big as a house, waddling, couldn't bend down, couldn't see my feet, etc... and I remember thinking "Oh my gosh, Mary rode on a DONKEY when she was THIS SIZE". What a super mom! If Jason would have asked me to get on a donkey and travel around the block at 9 months pregnant I would have laughed in his face... nevertheless to another city. She trusted Joseph and the Lord for her safety and comfort. Do I have that much faith?

So I think of all that Mary sacrificed for that baby... and in turn, the world- and ME. I'm thankful that God chose such a strong, courageous woman (and also a noble and brave man)to be the parents of our Savior. My challenge is, in my daily struggles and strifes (i.e. fighting frustration, lack of patience, and peas being flung across the kitchen) that I, also, would be able to be strong and courageous and the mother that God chose me to be.

The Many Faces of Amelia Lynn

Cleaning up... and making a change

After my month-long bout of the 'plague', I have been taking a good, hard look at my lifestyle. I am normally a very, very healthy person and rarely get sick. I will be the first to admit that I have been living a crazy life lately: not much sleep, a lot of stress, and eating whatever is easiest. I know that these have all been contributors to my 'dip' in health, and have felt very convicted about the things that our family is putting into our bodies. So, Jason and I have been doing a lot of searching, researching, praying, talking and more researching about 'cleaning up' our eating habits. I have just felt incredibly convicted about eating processed food with chemicals and preservatives. For instance... Easy Mac is a staple of Amelia's diet... what the heck is in that powdered stuff??

So, we are going to try and eat "cleaner". More all natural, less processed, more fruits, vegetables and lean meats, less sugars and fats. We have been researching free range/grass fed meats and more foods that don't have preservatives. We aren't going 'all organic', but are going to try are hardest to live 'cleaner'. My first trip to the grocery store last night was an experience. I was shocked how many foods had ingredients on the labels that I couldn't pronounce. As I was shopping I looked at my cart and thought "Boy, my cart looks different... I bet this means that my bill will look different too..." But, it really didn't. Yes, some of the foods I bought cost more than their processed equivalents, but I also wasn't buying chips, oreos, and other 'snacks' that drive up the grocery bill. I came home feeling good about the food I was providing for my family. Heck, I even threw in 2 reusable grocery bags and was shocked how much food I could stuff in them!
So, a couple things we are trying to do to be 'cleaner':
- Trying to buy foods with 'all natural' ingredients
-Using Jessica Seinfeld's "Deceptively Delicious" cookbook (last night was a puree date:-)
- Buying readymade meals from Dinner By Design to make my life easier
- Buying veggie trays to make my life even easier
- Reading the "Clean Eating" magazine... LOVE it
- Buying lean meats without hormones or antibiotics
- And starting to become more knowledgable about what goes into our bodies

Now, I don't plan to pack food with me wherever I go, and know that we won't melt if we have to run through McDonalds. We are going to do what we can do to live the best that we can and honor the bodies that the Lord gave us. We know that this will financially require sacrifices in other areas, but we think it's worth it. I have a lot of learning to do. I know that this lifestyle change will require me to be more organized, plan ahead, and be more purposeful in our meals. But, I'm up for the challenge. Especially if it means that it will help me avoid any future plagues... So, stay tuned for more from life from the clean side.

To Blog or not to Blog

This blogging thing is a bizarre phenomenon. Some people jot family updates, some people share tips and talents, and other empart life lessons. I guess I'm all of the above. What's bizarre is that I'm sharing my life and my heart to who? I don't know who is reading this... maybe no one :-) But this is freeing for me... to share what I am learning and living in hope that someone else might be able to say, "Yes, me too. I'm not alone in this life of being a wife and mother." Therefore, my prayer is that I may be used for you.

Lifestyles of the Wild and Wonderful

Life has definitely been crazy this past month. Somedays I would feel better and other days I would feel worse, always struggling to retain my energy and sanity. After the swine flu, pneumonia, and a sinus infection I'm finally on the mend. During my 'down time' I've had a lot of time to think about family, love, and our lifestyle. I have been weighing my/our options daily and trying to discern where we are supposed to be.

Thought 1
I am a full time working mom, doing a job that I love. I get to work with incredibly talented, passionate people facilitating projects that can potentially impact hundreds or even thousands of people. This requires me to get up at 5:30a, pack up myself and Amelia, drive to one of her 3 loving, incredible sitters (family and friends), then work all day, pick her up, get home at 5p, make dinner, play, bath and bed at 7p. Then it's laundry, dishes, packing clothes, diapers, and lunches for the next day, and packing the car with overnight stuff if we are headed to Chicago the next day to be with Daddy. At the end of the night I usually collapse on the couch with my nightly dose of cookie dough. Somedays it feels like a rat race and like I'm a hamster on a wheel. I daily evaluate my day and say, "Is this worth it." But, I love the sense of accomplishment I have. I love leading a team to success and having pride in our accomplishments. I love that Amelia gets to spend weekly quality time with her grandparents and very close friends. And, I love that the time that we spend together is devoted and quality. But, at the end of the day, I wonder, "Did I miss out on anything today?"

Thought 2
If I were to quit my job and be at home full time I wonder, "Would I be able to do it?" I worry about being 'enough' for her... about my patience level, and the requirement for constant self sacrifice. I worry about being fulfilled and that my drive and desire for productivity and challenge will be fed. Would I be able to care for her and nurture her day in and day out? I worry about not having a set schedule, about staying motivated and productive. Amelia is in a really difficult stage right now where she is picky, wants to communicate but can't-so is whiney, and has the attention span of a gnat. Would I be able to interact with her all day without pulling out my hair? Then, I think about all of the amazing experiences I would be able to have with her... play dates, exploring, and experiencing together for hours at a time. Teaching her about the world and life and getting to see her learn and grow every step of the way. I would be instilling in her the gifts God gave me. We would be able to have a deeper relationship than we do now. But, at the end of the day, I am afraid I would wonder, "Did I miss out on anything today?"

Thought 3
There is so much pressure to be 'good enough'. A good enough mom, wife, employee... to have it all together and keep all the balls in the air. For your child to be well behaved, eat all their vegetables, and always be in a good mood. For your house to be clean, your dishes done, and healthy food to be on the table. Whether you work in the home or out of the home, we all share these struggles. But, I think I have to get used to putting some of those things aside for survival's sake. Right now my job is blessedly flexible and gives me the time I need to devote to my family. I truly feel like I have the best of both worlds. I have learned that my dining room table may consistently have junk on it, thank you notes may get to their recipients far far past the appropriate time (sorry!), and I'm a slacker on sending birthday cards and other niceties. But, I'm living the life God gave me with joy and abandon. Some days are very very hard, some days are filled with exhilarating excitement, but they are all days God has given me. I am learning about being more independent and more organized. About being flexible and resilient. About being the very best that I can be, and that's it. Yes, there are things I would like to be different- things I want more of out of this life. I want to have a closer walk with the Lord, I want to teach Amelia about the helping people, Jesus, art, and music. I want to counsel and help people- what I feel is my true destiny. But, the Lord knows my heart and my desires and has many more plans for me. Now, it's up to me to listen...

Back on my feet...

I firmly believe that God uses everything for the good... and have had to embrace that as I was on the couch for 7 days with the flu and pneumonia this week. I have never been this sick in my life... and it was so much harder with a 13 month old and a husband out of town. So, God taught me a lot this week... He taught me how little rest I have been giving myself and how I have been allowing my crazy life to cause me to neglect my body. I have learned humility and to accept and embrace those offering to help. I have had all of my needs provided for by amazing family and friends... and for that I am eternally grateful. It made me realize how, normally, I am very healthy; and made me incredible thankful that I would recover soon and did not suffer from a chronic illness like so many that I know and love. Therefore, being sick has helped me to empathize with those that are struggling with their health, and it helped me to understand some of the frustration that they experience on a daily basis. Most of all I have felt prayers of family and friends and experienced the healing hand of my Father. I am praising him that Jason and Amelia didn't get sick and that I am finally feeling better. Sometimes He has to knock you off your feet to get your attention... and for that I am thankful. He has done great things!

Amelia in the leaves... 12 mo

Our Family Update

Here's the Gebbink update...
6 months ago Jason was offered a job in Chicago in a money management firm trading bonds. Although this was something that he had never done and we had no idea how the logistics of it were going to work being 3 hours from us in Bloomington, we had total peace about the situation. For the first time in my life I was actually upset that I had peace. This job was not in 'my plan' and I did not have a hiccup like this figured into 'my plan'. Well, we all know what God thinks of our plans... ha ha... So, going completely on faith he accepted the job and we went from there. From day one God opened doors and provided for all of our needs. From a very nice, very affordable rental house that was completely gutted and fixed up just for us, to a houseful of furniture that was loaned to us, to my job being INCREDIBLY understanding and flexible and allowing me to work from home 2 days a week... God provided.

Now we are going on 6 months of Jason working in Chicago, and it's actually going pretty well. He heads up on Sundays via Amtrak, then I work Mon-Wed while Amelia is watched by grandmas and a friend, then she and I head up to McHenry on Wed evenings where I work from home on Thursdays and Fridays and we all drive home together Friday nights. Saturdays we do stuff around the house, Sunday is church (Jason is still working in Peoria as a worship leader at our church), and Sunday night we do it all over again. Whew. Hopefully we won't have to keep it up for longer than a year before he is able to work from home. God has provided for us every step of the way and, although somedays are much harder than others, we have grown and learned so much already. So, praise to Him!

Here we go...

What better thing to do today after having been stuck in the house for 5 days, sick on the couch, than start a blog? Truthfully, I love and adore reading our friend's blogs and keeping up with their lives, kids, struggles and joys. I have received so much wisdom, insight, joy, and laughter from everyone else that I thought it might be my turn to contribute. So, enjoy!